More den a week has pass now..
She is now happy with him le..
Tats a gd thing..
It seems tat i hab been a very bad person last time..
I think i noe y le..
Really sry for everything last time..
Really dint meant it..
I think its really time to let u go le ba..
See u enjoying with him..
I oso happy for u..
U tot me alot of stuff..
Alot of stuff tat would help me in my life..
Appreciate all tat..
Thx for everything..

Ok la..
Lets start saying wad i hab been doing these past few days..

Thurs..Went to sch as per normal..Den went back home..It was a rainy day..dunno y was so tired oso..reach home lie on bed n fell asleep..when i was just abt to turn into deep slp..she called.. ask me wan go out ma..den i agreed n went out with her..we ended up at vivo..watching movie..watch Death at the funeral..sibei funny..luff non stop..den after movie..we went to bk eat..but i was de only 1 eating..F5..she play my psp while waiting for me to eat finish..haha..my psp too attractive le..ppl keep wan play..haha..den pei her take bus home..dam shiok la my ass..super far only..but quite fun.. nv been there so late at nite before..den of course i took almost de last bus back frm there..another shiok ride..sit till my ass song again..reach serangoon inter n walk back frm there..coz no bus le..was quite a fun day..let me get my tots off her..

Friday..suppose to go out at 11+ den ended up leaving de hse at 2..waiting for some pig to wake up to go out study..haha..suppose to go jurong study oso..den last min tat pig say jurong very sian..den cant think of other place..so went to vivo again lor..ate at pasta mania..soso nia la..she did well..manage to finish the pizza ALL BY HERSELF..lol..den went to mac @ hfc to study..study till ard 7 liddat..den decided to go ps eat..ate de dunno wad riverside bbq or wad at de foodcourt..quite nice..but like super filling oso..ken join us for dinner..actually is wanted wait him come den eat..at de end we forgotten to wait..=x sry ken.. after dinner..we 2 send her back..at de end..ended up in jurong east to play pool..wth..so late liao..haha..sudden craving pool..after tat send her home den me n ken take cab to my hse..1st time cross country..but not tat ex la..ken stayed over at my hse..we talked abt stuff..n play games..all those..haha..tats abt all for Friday..had a nice day..

Today stuff other time den say..now running late le..wan go out eat dinner with ken..wahahaha..

Labels: Thx for accompanying me..

5:08 PM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

Hmm..Still cant slp again..haiz...

I really still miss her..
No matter how much i try to hide it or wadeva..
I still cant seems to forget her...
The times with her..
Was really just like a dream come true..
Wish i had more time with her..Haiz..
I noe tat it aint quite possible..
But i really want her back by my side again..
I really want to hold her in my arms again..

Infront of my frens..
I try to show them i m done with it..
N already letting go..
But deep inside..
I really cant let go..
She is just like a part of me already..
Without her..
Its like a jigsaw puzzle with many holes..
Haiz..
If i had only 1 wish in the world..
I would wish she would come back to me..
I dun care wad she had done to me..
How she had hurt me..
I just wan a new beginning..

While waiting for the dream to come true..
I think i can just stand at a side..
N just wish her all the best..
Even thou the dream may not come true..
Even after i died..
I would still wish it will come true..

ok..enough of this..
My head is so heavy..
I dunno wad to do..
All i can do is just wait..
N hope for miricle

Labels: do u miss me? can u tell me?

6:30 AM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

Haiz..Still aint got no mood..

U must be enjoying life now..
Tats good..
As long as u r happy..
I m happy for u too...
Even now i cant hold u in my arms anymore..

So many days past le..
But i still cant stop thinking of our time together..
Hmm..
But i guess..
I would believe tat if we were meant together..
Eventually we will be together de ba...

Tmr meeting her le..
To take back my stuff..
Feeling sad n happy..
Happy coz can see her..
Sad coz it maybe a long time before de nxt time i can see her liao...
Haiz..
How i wish i could reverse time..

The lyrics of a song i heard today..
Most of the things i wan to say to her seems to be inside..

NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE
By: S Club 7

Everybody’s got something, they had to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time,
There’s no use looking back, or wondering, (or wondering),
How it could be now, or might have been, (or might have been),
All this I know, but still I can’t find ways to let you go,

I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you.

Somewhere in my memory I’ve lost all sense of time,
And tomorrow can never be cause yesterday is all that fills my mind,
There’s no use looking back, or wondering (or wondering),
How it should be now, or might have been (or might have been),
Oh this I know but still I can’t find ways to let you go,

I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You’ll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will oh baby,
You’ll always be the one I know I’ll never forget,
There’s no use looking back or wondering, (or wondering),
Because love is a strange and funny thing, (and funny thing),
No matter how I try and try I just can’t say goodbye, no no no no.

I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say, (never found the words to say),
You’re the one I think about each day, (you’re the one I think about each day),
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be...
A part of me will always be with you, oooohhh.

Labels: Wish u all the best..

3:12 AM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

Haiz..still cant slp..no mood to do anything...

Really dint expected this to come my way..

but..wad can i do now?

I myself oso dunno..

I really cant stop thinking every moment we spend together..

All the happy stuff we did together..

Makes me shed tears for her again..

1 is the 1 love..

The other is a good fren which i trust..

Really impact me lots la..

All i can say i already wrote in the card i gave her..

Yst was like the worst day of my life..

imagine some 1 u treasure so much.. suddenly isn't in your grasp anymore..

tats the feeling i feel now..

nth can make me more happy den her..

but it seems impossible now..

she is with another guy now..

i trust he would take care of her well..

i m happy for her..

thou i still cant accept the fact..

will she be mine again??

i hope so..

let fate decide ba..

back to loneliness once again...

good things dun last i guess..

I WILL FOREVER CHERISH ALL THE TIMES WE HAD BEEN TOGETHER..


Thx all tat been beside me all this while...
Without u all..i dunno wad would hab happen..

Labels: Cant stop thinking of u..tears aint stop rolling down my face..

7:01 AM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

Today..just 1 day before our 1 yr anniversary..she ask for a break up..

The whole day before tat i was already in a bad stat.. got some stuff i m unsure abt..but i hope tmr would be a better day..

Really looking forward to tmr for a long time now..dint expect we will just missed it by 1 day..

I really dun wan to lose her..she means alot to me..

but i really dunno wad to do..

wad went wrong?

how did she just lose feelings like dat?

i really hope i could noe all those answer...

most importantly...

I DUN WAN TO LOSE HER...

haiz...is there another way out?

can we just dun break...

hope u reconsider ba..

u r everything to me..

Labels: I LOVE u badly..

6:16 PM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

Hmm..3 time posting from hp..haha..

Wad to say leh..

Yst..we went to pay respect to a maple fren's mum as she just pass away..we went there around 12am n stayed till around 4am..due to playing blackjack..although it was about coz we were losing a huge sum of meso(maplerstory currency), but there is another reason to it..which i wun say out..
This cause dar to get scolding for staying up too late..Sry dar..maybe it also helped u too..

Today..wasn't a nice day at all..during the early part of the day..we had some small arguement..actually all i wanted is her to hab more slp..n i play her char so tat she wun waste her 2x while she was slping..she was unhappy with it..i dunno y too..anyway..tats de past by now.,

Wad happened at night was worst..firstly her mum scold her for playing too much com..den after tat we went for dinner..after dinner..her dad talked to her..which ended up both parents scolding her..sometime they dun really know wad we teenagers are thinking..but they tot they do..they said alot of unpleasant stuff..dun wan to mention wad..but i can say most of it doesn't help at all..she is just a teenager of course will be a bit immature..and the way u ask for her prob isn't correct..its more like police interviewing a thief liddat..anyway..i heard most of the conversation..i was included too..it was my fault for not keeping the room tidy..sry about tat dar..they also said tat i din't encourage her at all..haiz..i did tried..but nobody noe..they used me as a topic to scold her which makes me feel bad..but some things really no where to put..just y we leave it on the floor at 1 side..haiz..its over..i know she is very unhappy..i m too..but she seem ok from the outside now..playing maple..really hope she could spend more time with me..although we r always together..but we hardly communicate..

really hoped 1 day she would come to me when she is upset..rather den other..

Labels: Am i a pest?

11:35 PM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

Hmm..gonna make this short..

i dunno wads going on..nowadays its hard to communicate with her..i really wan to talk to her like last time..even though i see her everyday..its seems tat i m very far away from her heart..

i always wonder..y she dun share prob with me?was i unwilling to listen?or wad have happened tat pull us apart so far?

dunno whether to say this anot..i can feel something wierd happening..but i cant do anything about it..how? Can some 1 help me pls? Or wad should i do..i m losing her heart..can see tat she is confuse now..there is 2 path in heart now..1 is with me..another is with him..i also confused..i dunno m i too selfish?should i just let her go to be happy?although she means so much to me till i m unwilling to let go..but if she really wants to go..i can do nth but to let her go..haiz..i really love her..but it needs 2 hand to clap..if ur heart dun hab me anymore..just tell me..i will wish u all da best..

u r rite..there is no point changing..how i change i m still me..but do u still wan de original me?haha..u choose ba..

Labels: Will i lose her?

10:21 PM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

finally i m posting again.

1st of all... HX I M UPDATE BLOG LE..lol

hmm..wad should i post..i feel tat my life is messed up..how can i fix the pieces back together..i felt very bad tat i brought they 2 back home..they are innocent n shouldnt get pulled in..haiz..wad to do..if i could just erase it from their mind or bring time i would do it..

Right now..my head still hurts since yst..i myself also dunno y..it may seems from the outside that everything is gone n passed..but deep inside i just cant stop thinking of wad happened yst..its like a nightmare tat u rmb deeply..this 2 days i keep having a very stressed up mind..y is this so? i really wonder..is it bcoz O's is getting near? or is it bcoz of other stuff? i really dont noe..really hope i could just go to slp n slp n slp..but tat doesnt solve anything..if u noe me well..i m a person tat dont like to leave things unsolved..

Hmm..i really lost my mind yst..but i din meant wad i said when i was angry..but ppl just think tat i did..even my own parents dont noe me well..wad can i say? ppl said i nv tried to communicate with them..but i m a born introvert..i cant communicate with ppl easily..i really hope i can..did i not tried hard enuff to get closer to them? maybe last 17 yrs i really did..but no 1 saw it..i really dont noe wad to do?i do love them, but i dont noe how to..i really cant see the future..stressed up the whole day..haiz..

i read her blog..i saw the post..i noe he is wrong..can i say sry on his behalf? maybe bcoz i noe him too well tat i noe he has too much pride to say it..wad to do..tats how he is like..i felt angry n sad the whole 2 days..i noe i shouldnt do the stuff..but i really cant control myself..

Actually..i realise yst tat my mum isnt tat bad after all..time after time she sided me..n time after time i treated her badly..although she may be naggy or even very irritating at times.. she still meant gd after all..after so many times i treated her badly..i really wanted to apologise to her..but just cant say it out of my mouth..

i feel very lost rite now..i feel tat i owe every single 1 around me a apologise..to her..i wan to tell her tat i m really stressed up tat i wan drown myself with things..just y i would forget the time just now..i m really sry..hope u forgive me..i really owe u alot..too much tat i dont noe how to return u..

tats all for today..this post would sound very personal..but the fact is..it is..every post here is personal..hope tmr will be a better day..

Labels: words from the heart..

11:11 PM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

About me..

Kevin
born on e 28 of dec
18 this year
10th Squad Captain

WishList..

Simple life.
A new beginning
To Be with Her 4eva
<3 deardear
Pass all my module

What i like..

Sleep
Eat
n Sleep
Pool

SAY IT OUT!!

Friends..

Mich
Er_z
Hanisah
Hx aka Aiai
Mr Funny & Little Miss Giggles
Moo Mooo

HISTORY

July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
April 2008
July 2008