Sunday, September 2, 2007

finally i m posting again.

1st of all... HX I M UPDATE BLOG LE..lol

hmm..wad should i post..i feel tat my life is messed up..how can i fix the pieces back together..i felt very bad tat i brought they 2 back home..they are innocent n shouldnt get pulled in..haiz..wad to do..if i could just erase it from their mind or bring time i would do it..

Right now..my head still hurts since yst..i myself also dunno y..it may seems from the outside that everything is gone n passed..but deep inside i just cant stop thinking of wad happened yst..its like a nightmare tat u rmb deeply..this 2 days i keep having a very stressed up mind..y is this so? i really wonder..is it bcoz O's is getting near? or is it bcoz of other stuff? i really dont noe..really hope i could just go to slp n slp n slp..but tat doesnt solve anything..if u noe me well..i m a person tat dont like to leave things unsolved..

Hmm..i really lost my mind yst..but i din meant wad i said when i was angry..but ppl just think tat i did..even my own parents dont noe me well..wad can i say? ppl said i nv tried to communicate with them..but i m a born introvert..i cant communicate with ppl easily..i really hope i can..did i not tried hard enuff to get closer to them? maybe last 17 yrs i really did..but no 1 saw it..i really dont noe wad to do?i do love them, but i dont noe how to..i really cant see the future..stressed up the whole day..haiz..

i read her blog..i saw the post..i noe he is wrong..can i say sry on his behalf? maybe bcoz i noe him too well tat i noe he has too much pride to say it..wad to do..tats how he is like..i felt angry n sad the whole 2 days..i noe i shouldnt do the stuff..but i really cant control myself..

Actually..i realise yst tat my mum isnt tat bad after all..time after time she sided me..n time after time i treated her badly..although she may be naggy or even very irritating at times.. she still meant gd after all..after so many times i treated her badly..i really wanted to apologise to her..but just cant say it out of my mouth..

i feel very lost rite now..i feel tat i owe every single 1 around me a apologise..to her..i wan to tell her tat i m really stressed up tat i wan drown myself with things..just y i would forget the time just now..i m really sry..hope u forgive me..i really owe u alot..too much tat i dont noe how to return u..

tats all for today..this post would sound very personal..but the fact is..it is..every post here is personal..hope tmr will be a better day..

Labels: words from the heart..

11:11 PM

Kev;
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.