wO shi zhU

2008-07-08T18:55:00.003+08:00

It may seems tat i don't care..
But if u think tat is me..
Think again ba..

I was nv angry with u joking..
Its wad happen after tat is the problem..

2008-07-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

I just don't want to spoil u..

2008-04-15T00:03:00.004+08:00

hmm.. haben been blogging for the past 2 1/2 mths..
mainly course i hab no prob to post...
dear dear always ask me y i nv post anything le..
the reason is for this blog is to talk to when i hab prob..
but the fact now is i m happy with u..
and i do not hab any prob..

today is our 3rd mth together..
i kinda forget the day..
i m sry dear dear..
it really slip my mind..
i noe giving all those excuses wun help..
hope u will understand..
it wun happen again..

i just wan to tell u tat..
for this 3 mths..
u hab always put a smile on my face..
even though we may hab some tiff now and then..
but its just common to hab..
really like the way we r right now..

i believe with this relationship we could last..
i love u dear dear..
HAPPY 3RD MTH!!!!
Thx for everything u hab done for me..

2008-01-29T02:42:00.000+08:00

I LOVE JASMINE KEE~~~!!!
Thx darling for the wonderful 2 weeks u gave me..

Time passed so fast..
We already 2 weeks le..
I m happy once again..
Thx for bringing colours back to my life..

All the effort paid off..
N it is all worth it..
Really enjoyed every single moments spent with u..

Thx once again to those tat made it happened..

2008-01-28T01:13:00.001+08:00

LONG TIME NO BLOG LE!!!~~~~
MANY MANY THINGS HAPPEN DURING THIS PERIOD OF TIME!!!

My luck has change for the better..
Finally..
Many things has happened..
So i will summaries all up..
1st of all..
My 2 most happiest day of this mth is on 15 n 24..

Something happened on 15 tat change my life..
Letting me have a new beginning..
N its almost 2 weeks already..
At start..was confused n worried..
Its may turn up like the last 1..
But now i have confident tat this will last..=)
This time wad i predicted wasnt wrong..
Its worth my effort..
This time round i wun do the mistakes i did the last time round..
I learned my lesson..

Nevertheless..I want to thx all those that was with me all these while..
U noe who u guys r..
I really appreciate it..
U guys always makes me smile..=)

And for 24th jan..
Its was result day..
I did not bad..
Far better den wad i expected..
I believe i was very lucky this time around..

Anyway..I believe in these..after a few mths of bad luck..
No matter wad the outcome is..
There is always a way thru back the light again..
There will nv be a path tat leads to a dead end..
And life r full of Ups n Downs..
If u drop badly this time around..
U will soar as high the nxt time round..

To her~~
I will always be here for u..
No matter wad happens ok..
So dun wry too much..

2008-01-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

Kinda bored now..
Hab some spare time before i go out(rare sia)..
I just realise..
I blog very rarely..
And i always make long post when i blog..
LOL..
So i will try to make this short..

I was out quite alot the last week..
Mostly was coz of pool..
But got watch movie all those too..
Was kinda happy the last week..
Had good frens to go out everyday..
But i always late..
Dunno y also..
I always feel tat i m short of time..
Maybe i m short of slp..
Tats y..
But i will try to improve it..
Something funny n nice happened last week..
Which i guess some of u noe wad is it..
wahahaha..

O's result will be release this thurs..
Thats gonna be exciting..
No point worrying right now..
I did wad i could..
I can just hope for the best right now..
The worst thing is..
Private candidate receive their results online..
Which makes it even more scary..
Its just like a click away frm the thing tat i hab been waiting for 2 mths now..

Ok ba..Kinda nth to say le..
I think i would post on thurs ba..
Along with my results..

2008-01-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

Its been quite awhile since i last blog..
Dunno y nowadays..cant get myself to blog de..
Too lazy ba..
I always got many things in my mind..
But once i start to blog..
I will like just forget everything instantly..

Its been almost 2 mths since exams was over..
But yet i still dun feel relax..
Is it coz i hab been drowning myself in things to make me busY?
Coz once i slow down..
I will start to think abt stuff..
Which i dun wan to..
Guess tats my life ba..
Just flood myself with things to do..
N forget everything else..

So wad hab i been doing nowadays?
Playing maplestory n pool..
Like abit sian lehz..
Everyday same thing..
Nvm ba..
In a few more weeks or days time..
I cant play so much games le..
I will be starting work..
I hope its gonna be a interesting job..
I got a job in star cruises as a meet and greet staff for fly cruise tourist..
So basically..
wad i heard frm the person is tat i go to the airport n pick those tourist up n check them in to their hotels..n make sure everything goes well..
Its would be a challenging job ba..
But this time round i think i m rdy for it..
Cant wait to start work actually..
I really wan to hab a change in my life..

Hmm..I kinda went out today..
It was a long long day..
1stly..i was suppose to meet my frens in the morning to sign up for driving courses..
But i overslept..
So i think the went without me..
But nvm..
I went with bai to the driving centre..
Actually wanted to take private de..
But the test day is like 2 mths diff lehz..
So i decided to take the class de ba..
Faster get it done n over..
But the bad thing is..
We dint hab the class with us..
We needed to play $155+ on the spot..
So gotta come back another day..
Sian hor..
Nvm..I now very free de..

After tat..
I went to lakeside to meet jas..
Den we went to sp open hse together..
Kinda tiring..
But not bad..
Always wanted to get into sp all my sec life..
But din manage to last yr..
Hopefully..i would be able to this yr..
The campus is really nice..
Oh well..hab to wait till results out den can see ba..
Wun noe now oso..

After the sp open hse thingy..
Jas n I when to meet ken n his bro at suntec..
Den went to subway to eat my Breakfast,Lunch and Dinner..
Long time din hab my 1 ft long sandwhich le..
Eat till song song..
Den we walk to a pool hall call cue room near boat quay..
Kinda not bad ba..
But the rates can get better tables..
But the service there..Is dam good la..
Nv seen before such vip service at a pool hall after so long of pool..
Its like they will come n rack for u n can organise ur own competition there somemore..
Cool rite..

Den after tat..
We went to boat quay's mac n eat supper..
Kinda bring back some old memories..
But everyone has already moved on ma..
So y not me rite..
Its the past already..
Wad i hope now is the present to be good..
Hope tat i will get the yes frm her soon ba..

Anyway..after tat..
We all went home..
As usual i send her home den go back frm there..
And it was like late to catch the last bus or train..
So i took 300..
Today broke another record..
I took the most ex 300 in my whole life till now..
Hopefully tat will be the record forever..
Coz after i get my licence..
Hopefully get a car..
So dun nid to scared no last bus or train anymore..
And..
To her:
U dam naggy ar..always dun let me send u home..
I send home on my own will de..So no need to feel guilty on hw i get home de..
And thx for ur present..i really like it..=)
Gonna start using it..wahahah

Hmm..tats the end of my super long post..
Sry for making it so long..
Just wanted to clear my mind..
Take care everyone..

2008-01-06T04:48:00.001+08:00

Wow..Haben post for quite awhile..
More den a week ba..
My life is still in a mess as usual..

Hmm..i m kinda tired as its 5am in the morning..
So i going to make this brief..
For this past 1 week..
I had been trying to juggle my time with game n my outdoor life..
Its had somehow been alright..
But i think outdoor life is much better..

Recently..Been playing pool often again..
But i had lost quite abit of touched le..
I guess i had to train back again ba..
I really wan to take it as a hobby..
2 days ago..I bought my entry cue..
Finally after so long..
I got my cue..
Its kinda pricey..
But i think its worth it..

Wad else do i wan to post sia..
I suddenly hab nth in my mind..
Oh ya..
Many ppl ask me wads my new yr resolution..
To be honest..
I dun really hab 1..
Even to this very moment..
I dunno wad i wan to do..
M i doing the right things..
I just hope there will something tat would make me alive again..
I got over her..
Tats something to start with for this new yr..
Its took quite awhile..
But i finally understand..

Now i m waiting for another her to be rdy..
I noe tat she had bad experience recently..
Tat may be the reason y she isnt rdy yet..
But hope she noes tat..
Its gonna be diff this time around..
n to the old her..
I learnt my mistakes..
N i will nv do it again..n will not regret anymore
I will not be wad i used to be..

Tats all for now ba..
Kinda VERY tired le..
I go slp le..

2007-12-29T22:11:00.001+08:00

Wahaha..Din hab the time to post till now..
Its been almost 1 day since i turned 18..
Finally after so long..

Yst..
I had a super fun filled day..
Thx every 1 for celebrating with me..
For tat..
I will post in detail on wad happened yst..
Wahahaha.
Get rdy for the long post..

1st of all..
We arrange to meet @ 9am at hfc..
I was late as usual..
Actually not really..
I was there much earlier..
But i went to somewhere after i reach there..
So kinda reach around 9.30am?
Total of 9 ppl including me turned up..
We had breakfast n den when to vivo to take the monorail to Sentosa..
Here is where the fun all begin..
Once we reach sentosa..
We hit the beach..
Woot..Played frm like 5 hrs?
I think around there or more..
I had alot of fun..
N i did sth i nv did before too..
But too bad it din turned out as expected..

After tat..
We all showered n went to Sentosa Luge & Skyride..
Only 4 of us went for it..
Coz the thing is kinda pricey
Its cost like $9 per person..
But it was worth the money..
It was dam fun..

After tat..
We head out of Sentosa..
To meet another 3 more person at City hall..
And we went to Marina Square's Pizza hut to eat dinner..
1st time i eat with so many ppl at there sia..zzz
Den tio sabo by they all..
They went to order 1 brownie ice cream..
Den the pizza hut play the bday song..
Dam ps sia..
But i enjoyed it though..
Thx guys..

After dinner..
We head on to bugis to play pool at pool fusion 2..
Shiok sia..
1st time open 3 tables..
Lol..
Although i lost most of the games..
But i still had fun..
Most of us played so it was kinda fun..
After pool..
It was kinda the end of the outing le..
We all left on our own way..

I went to jurong though..
Send her home..
Kinda talk abt the stuff i hab been hoping to come thru the whole day..
Den reach her hse le..
Den both of us dun feel like going off so early..
So we went to eat prata at a prata shop nearby..
Not bad la..
But kinda crowded..
Den after tat..
We slowly walk back to her hse..
In the end..The thing still din came thru..
I dunno wad was missing..
And i wasnt good at all these in the first place..
Maybe i did it all wrong..
All i can do now is to hope for the time to come ba..

Btw..THX EVERY 1 THAT WAS THERE FOR EVERYTHING..
I REALLY APPRECIATED IT..
IT WAS THE BEST BDAY I EVER HAD..

2007-12-28T01:48:00.000+08:00

wow..
Its been 12 days since i last blog..
Thats long..
Many things hab occur during this 12 days..

I passed thru 12 days of confusion..
wahahaha..
Although..i already decided on wad to do le..
But i m still a little confused..
Its my bday today..
I m happy there r ppl celebrating with me..
And i gonna do something i nv do before..
I hope everything goes as plan..
If it did..
Later will be a good day..

Guess u all r wondering wad i did the past 12 dayS?
I changed my lifestyle..
Back to normal..
No more chionging of maplestory..
I start spending times with my frens again..

And recently..
I got rid of my long hair cut..
n i wan to change my style too..
no more kiddy style anymore..
I M FINALLY 18..SO I SHOULD GROW UP LE..

okie..tats abt wad i hab done..
now..
I decided to go for it le..
no more fearing le
Guess i gtg go slp le..
If not tmr cant wake up..

2007-12-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

hmm..finally blogging again..
Its been quite awhile..
Many things happen during this period of time when i was away..
N i learn a lot things too..

The main reason tat i was away was tat my grandmother passed away..
She passed away on wed evening..
N i was busy with the wake n funeral all the way till today..
It was kinda sudden for her death..
As no 1 really guess it was so soon..
But she was on a lot of medication le..
So i think it a good think tat she went ba..
She was in the hospital for a week or so before she went..
We even expected tat she would be out on last fri..
But who noes this happened..haiz..

The worst thing was tat..
I went to visit her only once in the hospital..
And it was like 1 week or more before she passed away..
Every 1 asked me to visit her during the week..
But i dunno y i just couldnt find the time..
When i found time to go le..
She already passed away le..
Now i really regret le..Haiz..
She always wanted me to visit her..
But she nv ever complain if i dint..
I feel so useless..
She treat me so good after all these yrs..
Yet i just took it for granted..

After thinking for so many days..
I think..wad "she" said was rite..
I should hab spend more time with my grandmother..
Guess it just dint hit me till she was gone ba..
Now i noe how does it feel to lost someone really really close to u..
I guess only "she" will noe how i feel now ba..

So i just want to tell u guys..
Cherish all those close to u..
Who noes 1 day they will just go without notice..
And u will regret not spending time with them..
If i could just reverse time..
I will not do things the same way again..
She was just too nice n understanding as a grandmother..

All i wish now is for her to go in peace ba..
I heard her last wishes frm my grandfather..
I will try my best to fulfill them..

Thats all for now ba..

2007-12-10T06:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm..super long nv blog le..
Kinda having insomnia now..

I guess alot things has happen to ppl around me..
I m almost lost contact with ppl which hav been close to me..
Everyday..Just wasting my time away in a game..
Guys..I really dun wish to be like this..
But i really cant take it anymore..
This is the only way to keep my mind asleep..
I really prefer going out den staying at home..
But there r too many reason for me not to..
I really hate my life now..
I m wasting my time away like wad i did 2 yrs ago..

Things around me changes while i remains the same..
Wad should i do den?
One moment..Its hot n stingy..
The nxt moment..It becomes cold n soft..
Even though hot n stingy is very painful..
I still prefer it to be tat way..
Should do something to put the heat back on?

Now i believe tat..
How perfect a thing is..
There r always flaws..
But if there weren't flaws..
How can the thing be perfect..
Flaws r for us to mend..
I just hope tat ppl cherish perfect things..
As they r not easy to come along..

I may have decided on carrying on with my life..
But somethings..
I just cant stop myself to stop n see..
Even though i m in a position tat which i cant do anything..

Enough said now..
I bet most of u dun understand wad i m saying rite?
If u dun understand..
Means u dun hab the need to..

If this yr was like last..
It would be more fruitfully spend..

2007-11-26T05:44:00.000+08:00

It's really painful to say goodbye to
someone that you don't want to let go
but its even more painful to ask
someone to stay if they never wanted to
stay.

It's a sad thing in life is when you
meet someone who means a lot to you,
only to find out in the end that it
was never meant to be and you just
have to let go.

Life doesn't hurt until you have time
to yourself to think about how things
have changed, who you've lost along the
way, and how much of it is your fault.

Let me ruin your life, let me break
your heart, then I'll ask you why we
can't be friends. Let me rip your world
into little pieces, let me destroy who
you thought you were, and then I'll ask
if we can be friends.

It's like once you've been hurt, you're
so scared to get attached again. you
have this fear that every person you
start to fall for, is just going to
break your heart again.

The hardest thing about knowing you
don't love me is that you spent so
much time pretending that you did.

You really know you love someone when
all you want is for them to be happy,
even if that means that you are not a
part of it.

Sometimes , no matter how long, or how
much you love someone, they will never
love you back and somehow you have to
learn to be okay with that.

I'm holding on to something that used
to be there hoping it will come back,
knowing it won't.

There' s always that one special person
that no matter what they do to you, you
just cant let them go.

2007-11-26T05:03:00.000+08:00

Haha..wad a nice few days i got..
Dunno wad to do now la..
I m being cornered with myself once again..

i already regretted everything le..
those i can pay back de..
i will pay back
those i cant de..
i oso dunno how i pay back..
i tot u noe me well ba..
but maybe u just dint..
we dint noe each other well frm the start like u said..
m i such a hatered to u?
if u doubt wad we hab benn thru together..
i oso cannot do anything..
believe me or not..
it was true ba..

for not paying u back..
i admit..its my fault..
my inability to pay u back..
i m already digging for the money now..
so wad if my family is well to do..
it isnt me tat is well to do..

aiya say so much u still hate me tat much..
wad should i do?
disappear for earth den u dun hate me le?
sometimes i just hate myself for loving u so much..
too many things in my mind..
i just dunno how to express it out..

i lost u le..
i lost all my hopes..
2 mths plus has pass le..
n the more u hate me..
if i can undo the past..
i wun do things the same way again..
i din noe loving a person too much will make the person hate u..
i really din mean it..
i m really sry..
wad else can i say right?
only tat 1 word

i now already nth to look forward to le..
u think i living happy now?
u r wrong den..
not even happy..
i m just trying to pass time fast so i dun think abt anything..
me n her? we r just frens..
dun nid u say..she oso wun accept me de..
i already lost all my confidence tat u gave me le..
being with u was a great thing for me though..
it shows me the ups n downs of life
n wad is life
rather den just being some1 useless

so now..if i return u the money asap..
i dun hope u will forgive or wad..
i just hope we will break even ba..
all i wan to say i already said..
i really meant no harm..
its up to u to believe
hope we still can be friends..
like wad u said when we broke up ba..

2007-11-24T07:57:00.000+08:00

hmm..its been like a week since i last blog..
So..wad hab i been doing for the past 1 week?
Playing maple..

This week hab been good n bad for me..
Bad things 1st..
I finally noe the true colours of some ppl..
Good is..
There isnt anything good anyway..
Everything is still wad it is in real life..

I really like how the way we r now..
But i oso feel like taking it futher..
But will it be like last time?
The futher i go..
The futher u drift away frm me?
I oso dunno how la..
My life now..
I hab nth to wry abt..
Eat slp n play game..
Thats all ba..
Still finding job..
So for now..
I better make use of free time..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y must u treat me like this?
Do i really deserve this?
I really wan to know..

2007-11-17T03:46:00.000+08:00

Hmm..right now..
I am at 1 of the service apartment @ orchard..which ken manage to get for 3 days..
Finally i have time to post..
At home..
I m too busy with the game till i hab no time to even post my blog..
Firstly..thx ken for inviting me coz its a nice place..
Secondly..i had fun with u guys..
Thx for always being with me guys..

Hmm..Lets start posting..
After think for these few days..
I realise tat only her accepted my physical defections..
Who dun wan to hab a perfect partner rite?
I can only blame myself for being like this ma..
I still rmb she always told me not to look at my physical defections..
But the fact is..
Everyone is looking at it..
I already tried my best to act as i din realise..
But i really cant..
Is it really so hard to find someone else tat doesnt mind?
Or almost everybody mind?
I m really confused..

To her..
I really dunno wad to do now?
It really seems tat we r drifting further away..
U used to tell me ur prob..
Now u dun even tell le..
Even i ask, u oso say its privacy..
I really wan to chase u de..
But u keep running..
Not even giving me a chance to prove myself..
U really dun wan me to chase u?
Or is there other reasons?
Can u tell me pls..
Maybe u r testing me..
But I really dun noe wads ur meaning..
If u like some 1 else or wad..can at least tell me k?
I will understand de..

Lastly..
I feel very useless..
Everyone thinks i m rich?
The fact is..
I m not the 1 tat is rich..
I cant even help my dear sis..
I really wan to..
But i dun hab the ability..
I m really sry sis..

Money money money..
Y is money always the prob..
i really wonder..

Now..I m going to slp ba..
Long day tmr..

2007-11-14T05:13:00.000+08:00

hmm..
Just gonna do a short post before i slp..

Yst wad my official last day of my exams..
But guess wad..
I m not even feeling happy..
Sry ken for treating u with a black face at pool just now..
It wasnt abt the game..
Its just there is this thing in my head tat is making it heavy..

After i came home i went zak..
1st time i dc..
I forgot i using wireless..
Den 2nd time..
Kill finish..
But den loot bu dao helm..
Sob..
Too many unhelm de..
Den only 2 helm..
Sian..
Nvm ba..
Pot usage very little nia..
Can go in again de..
Hopefully i will tio nxt time..
Ok ba.. off to slp le..
Just now in zak keep wan doze off..
Sry i loot bu dao wor..

2007-11-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Kinda long din hab a serious post le..
Finally i hab time to do tat..
I dunno y..
Since my 2nd last paper finished..
I hab been so busy tat i din hab time to slow down n rest..
And i think we hab been drifting apart..
I still wish there was sch...
Coz for the last mth of sch..
U were an encouragement for me to go..
Haha..
Y ppl must liddat 1 ar..
When got sch..
They think sch not good..
When sch end..
Den they start to miss sch..
Haiz..

This few days..
I hab been playing pool almost everyday..
Cant find anything else to do lehz..
Dam sian la my current life..
N i still dun understand 1 thing..
Y most of my frens hate their ex so much till they dun wan to talk to them?
I really wonder y..
Is there really no space for frenship after breaking up?

Hmm..
I feel tat me n her really get along well when we r together in rl..
But once we chat on something else..
Its like strangers liddat..
Wad should i do?
I noe u hab been hurt till u dun trust guys le..
But not guys r liddat ma..
I admit i m not perfect too..
In fact i m far frm perfect..
But I just really need u to gib me a chance..
I noe tat u r a person tat pride is impt for u..
But if u wan to really be happy..
I believe pride is just something not impt..

But wad should i do now?
R u really not rdy for rs?
Or just too scared to get hurt again?
Hope u would just tell me wads in the heart..

If u wan to noe y after exams le i still so stressed up..
Coz i really wan u..
But i dunno wad u wan..

Ok..enuff of my emo post..
I guess most of the reader dun even understand wad i m saying..
Or dun even noe who i m talking abt?

2007-11-09T00:53:00.000+08:00

haha.. posting in the middle of the night..

Today..
almost pool the whole day..
And still..i cant win my teacher..
Jialat la..
Standard not there yet la..
After pool i went for family dinner at club..
It was nice..

Den login maple played awhile..
Den now i slacking le..
Today din get to talk to her much..
Kinda miss ya u noe..
Hope to talk to u more tmr..

Now exams almost over for me..
I feel so empty..
Wad should i do now?
Can some 1 tell me?

2007-11-07T16:12:00.000+08:00

hmm..posting to burn some time off..

Firstly..yst alot of things happened..
And i had a great time with my classmates..
But i too lazy to go in detail..
Later at nite when i post i will k..

Now i at home thinking wad to do..
Later meeting Ken they all at town ba..
Abit sian..
Coz she isnt there..
I guess she is hard go call out ba..
haha..
Its ok anyway..
I aint going to force her to do anything she doesnt wish to..
So all depends on my luck whether she wants or not..

What to post lehz now..
My mind suddenly empty again..
Nvm..
Post till here for now..
Later conti...

2007-11-05T17:31:00.000+08:00

hmm..posting once again..
nth much to post anyway..

Hmm..Today went sch for ss paper..
Quite ok la..
1st time i finish the whole ss paper...
But i think i write rubbish..

Now at home playing maple..
Hahaha.
Sian..
Feeling like playing pool sia..

Tmr going out with my classmate..
Maybe can find some time to play pool
WAhahaha.=x

Hmm..Really nth much to post sia..
Cant wait for tmr..
Many reasons due..
Wahahha..

Tats all for today..
There will be more tmr..

2007-11-03T22:18:00.000+08:00

Haha..long time no post le..
Wanted to post yst..
But was too tired..
Dint really slept well the last few days..
So its like accumlated slp..
Ok..
Where should i start.
I think frm Yst ba..

Yst was physics paper..
Pretty confident abt the paper..
All the qn was very general..
Non of it was like in detail of any chap in physics..
The day before physics..
I went for poa paper 2 n den when for remedial..
But i was tired..
So i left 1/2 way..
Actually wanted go home, bath n study..
End up sleep all the way..
Den din even studied..
But the paper was ok..=x

After physics went with my classmates Jas, Px & Lynn to fep..
Den ate subway for Breakfast/lunch..
rofl..
After tat went walk around awhile..
Den Jas n Px went for ear piercing..
Top part of the ear tat 1..
Den they decided so long..
Dotz..
Den pierce liao..
The 2 like no feeling 1..
Dotz rite..

After tat went walk walk..
Girls as usual shopping..
Spend around 3 hrs there..
Lol..
Den after tat we decided go play pool lor..
Px went home after shopping..
So Jas, Lynn & me went lucky plaza play pool..

WHO NOES SO JUN..
Saw Ken & Hanisah down there..
SOMEMORE THE NXT TABLE SOMEMORE..
Lol..
SG is really small sia..
So we talk talk..
Den we decided go bugis play pool coz after 4 lucky plaza table not worth the price..
But Lynn gtg..
Den went pool fusion play..
Play for quite awhile..
Some 1 got improvement sia..
Thx to my good teaching..jkjk..

Den after tat..
We went to eat at bugis mos..
Den eat ice cream after tat..
Some 1 dun wan eat sia..
At the end still eat..
I win..=)

Den we all go home frm there..
But we left bugis at 9pm+
But i reach home at 1.30am
rofl..
Tats all for today..
I enjoyed my day yst..
But today was boring..

2007-10-31T01:27:00.000+08:00

Just came back frm a long day outside..
Was out since around 7am..
Today was maths paper 2..
Soso la..
Just hope i pass lor..

After the paper..
Went with a group of frens to eat nasi lemak at somewhere nearby bugis
Den we went to bugis street walk walk..
Still da same..
No changes..
Except for we went to early most shop were close..

Den after tat they wanted go to this place call Haji lane..
But din noe how to go there..
So we ask around..
End up all the ppl giving us different directions..
So nvm..
After thinking awhile..
I realise the name is malay street name..
N the nearest malay streets was at kampong glam..
So went there to find..
End up 1st street found le..
Not bad ar our luck..
Hmm..The street like old fasion de..
But the shops all very stylish de..
I think the prices of clothes even more STYLISH..
But it was still too early tat little shops were open..
So we end up taking photos..
Rofl right..
But the street was really a good background for photo taking..
Spend like i think got 1 hr or more there lor
just taking photo..
*now lazy to upload*

After taking till we sian liao..
Den they wanted go Lavender buy stuff..
So we walk all the way frm kampong glam to lavender..
Which wasnt tat far after all..
At least my sense of direction works after all..
I tot it din when i couldnt see any familar landmark..
But we made it there..
Dunno wads the place call la..
A place which sells mostly Army n camping stuff..
But i saw some nice clothings down there too..
Maybe some other time will go there n buy those clothes..
Den we slack at the hawker centre below it..
Den we decided go our separate ways..

After tat..
I was suppose to meet ken n hanisah for pool n dinner..
Den i din want to ps her..
Coz like nobody wan eat dinner..
So i ask her along with us lor..
Den went to the riverside indonesian seafood to eat..
Quite ok la..
Each around $10++ nia
Den we walk to pool fusion to play pool..
All 4 of us played..
Overall my team won..
Wahahahha..=x

Kk..Den we went home..
After tat somethings happen..
Dun wan to go in details..
And after i reach home i cleared my mind..
So wad happens frm now on..
Will depend on luck ba..

Tats all for today..tata..

2007-10-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Gonna make a short post n off to work..
Today..i had 3 papers..English p1, p2 n maths p1
Went to sch like 1 hr early la..
My dads estimation dam jialat la..
Aiyo..nvm..
At least no need ownself go sch..
Anyway..I put 101% for my english le..
I gave it all my best tat i can think..
I think should be able to get a B4 ba..
For maths..
I din do 17marks worth of qn..
Jialat..
Nvm..Tmr i must score in paper 2..

After my papers.. i met my mum at rc to eat hab some snacks @ Starbucks
Den after i went home myself..
Slept awhile..
N i m awake now..
For now..I gonna get to work le..

There is still tat qn in me..
Should i or should i not?
R u testing me?
Or avoiding me?
I really wan to noe..
Haiz..

2007-10-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

Posting once again..
Today din study at all..
I gotta start on my maths le..
If not i sure fail again..
Haiz..
Too many things in my mind as usual la..

Nobody can help me out de..
Sian..
It will be so gd if i could read minds ar..
Den dun nid so stressed up to think of wad other ppl is thinking..

Today..
Suppose to meet my maths teacher..
But i overslept..
So din go..
Sian..
I m confused right now..
Wad should i do..
I cant even focus on doing work..
Keep saying wan to do..
End up nv do at all..

I think i should start to do now le ba..
The thing in my head..
Can be solve..
But results maybe bad if i m unlucky..
Yeah..
So should i solve it or not?
I oso dunno..
Wahahaha..
If she can at least give me some signs..
Den i wun hab to think so much le..

Ok ba..see how things go ba..
I m off to study le..

2007-10-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

hmm..posting again..
Just woke up nia..
Just now came home after a long day den lie on bed K.O le..
Frm 8 plus slp till now..
Wahahaha..

Today..Went to Jurong study..Not Birdpark hor..
Went to fren hse..
1st time i been so deep into tat area sia..
But now even u leave me there..
I still will get lost de..
Lol..
Singapore really not dat small ar..
Still got places i so stranger to..

Hmm..I went there around 10am liddat..
Den we went to eat Mac..
After tat went to buy some snacks n go her hse..
Kinda study abit abit ba..
N dunno y the stupid time move so fast sia..
Awhile nia den a few hrs gone le..
Den dunno somebody..say study study..
Den end up slping down there..
LOL..
ok la..had quite a fun day..
Den after tat end up playing maple awhile..
Dk just too nice to play..
Rofl..
Some 1 play till late to meet fren for dinner..
Den i went home went she met her fren..
On the train to outram..
I slp all the way sia..
Damn song..
But still tired la..
Den at outram wanted go to harborfront to get a lift frm my dad back home..
Who noes i at outram take wrong side the train..
Den nvm lor..come back myself..
Came home liao i on come..
Den use awhile..
Dunno y internet just now so laggy..
Den i restart com..
Den while rs i lie on bed awhile..
End up fall asleep..
Wahahah..

Yeah..Tats kinda my day today..thx for the fun day..u noe who u r..

2007-10-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

hmm..Today went to sch take Geo paper..
I think for the Geo n Chem i was dam heng..
All i noe den come out..
All i dint noe de all dint came out..
Maybe was just lucky ba..
Hahaha..

Today talk to tat 1 person almost most part of the day..
I feel like a bad person to tell her to breakup with him..
But i really feel tat he isnt treating her as was she deserve to..
As a fren i dun wan see her continue to suffer on..
But i believe if he do something meaningful..
Sure can make her soft de..
Wahaha..See if he wan to make the effort lor..
I noe u sure will be reading de..
But dun care i still wan to say..
Although u all together 1 week nia..
But i can see tat u really put quite alot of hopes on him initially de..
Dun sad le k..*even though u dun show tat u r..i can see..*
If he meant to be urs it will ok..
U still got ur frens n me ur jiemei ma..ROFL..
*Sian diao become ah gua liao*

Hmm..Today break record for eating the least for i think the past 1 yr ba..
Ate 1 bread n half a ham the whole day..
Now i make the same thing again..
But i eat 1 bite i lost appetite again..
I oso dunno y..
Just all sort of different feelings passing thru me ba..
My time seems to crawl by sec by sec..
While i look at other ppl's de passing so fast..

I still got 3 papers of maths to do..
Haben even started..
I cant get myself to do..
My mind too stuffed with things le..
WAhaha..
Ok la.. Post till here for now lor..

2007-10-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

Back after a long day..
Now super tired..
But i gotta study for my geo..
Even though its buang 1..
But i wan try lor..

Today Chem..
Got confident..
Same confident as my N lvl de..
At the end got A2 for it..
Song bo..
Now see Physics le..

ok la..
Today..Went to sch take chem..
Den after tat met hanisah n ken play pool @ lucky plaza aka maid paradise again..
Quite fun..
Of course fun la..
I win ma..
Lose liao no fun le..
Den on train i standing still can doze off..
Dunno y la..
Too tired le..

Tats my day..
Better go le..
Some 1 rushing me..
wahaha..

2007-10-23T19:02:00.001+08:00

hmm..tmr O's chem paper..
Kinda nervous sia..
So i will do a quick post n go back to study..

Today..Woke up around mid day..
N started reading chem txbook..
Now doing 10 yr series..
Lol..
I think can make it la..

My life like kinda boring sia..
Everything do the same things de..
Like no colour at all..
Every time i slp..
I make the same dream abt this 2 person..
Dunno y la..
It will be nice if wad is in my dream really come thru..
Wahah..
I siao already..

Hope all these stuff just finish fast..
I really got alot of stuff i wan to do after my O's sia..
I really wonder if anybody even bother to read my blog sia..
The tag box like not active 1..
Sian diao..

Ok la..
Go back studies le..
Any body very very weak in science n taking O's..
Can call me..
I will try to help..

Wow..I really type fast sia..
I type all those in less den 5mins..
Lol..

*Gone*

2007-10-22T20:01:00.001+08:00

Hmm..Nth to do..
So came n post before i go "study"..
O's 1st written paper starting in 2 more days..
Guess wad..
Actually i havent even prepared for the 1st paper..
Haiz..
Time just passed too fast..
So fast O's starting liao..

Did some thinking today..
As well as look at some Old photo..
Realise tat was quite lucky last time..
Actually i was very lucky last time..
Ok la..wad past is past liao..
And she made a good choice for her future..
If she was still with me..
I would hab ruined her future again..

I really dun see any future frm me le..
All i did was say i wan get good grades for O's..
But i din even put the effort to do it..
haiz..
I feel tat this yr would be worst den last ba..
At least last yr i got her to study with..
This yr i got nobody..
Hopefully i can make it thru ba..

Hmm..i gonna stop here for now ba..
Just came to get things off my chest..
I noe u will be reading this..
Just wan to let u noe..
Everything i write here is wad i feel..
I hab no means to get ppls' pity or whatsoever..
N thx for intro me to blogging..

2007-10-21T23:20:00.001+08:00

oh ya..i forgot..
Aiai u wan see my new shoe rite..
here is the pics..

2007-10-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

hmm..today was pool siao day..
Went to eat lunch n play pool at kovan with ken in the afternoon..
After tat ken went off le..
Den I went to meet up with steven n sz at ms to play pool again..
Wanted to challenge my teacher ma..
At de end still lose to him..
we played 8 match..i win 1 nia..
Wtf la..
I not his standard yet..
Gotta train more after O's..
Den we went to eat dinner at this jap pasta restaurant at ms..
Not bad la..
But abit pricey lehz..
Den we walk around awhile den take bus home..
Dats kinda my day today..

Kinda moody the whole day too..
Even though i dun put it on my face..
Guess the only 1 tat realise was steven..
Coz he noe i not concentrating in pool..
I feel so tired today coz i got alot things in my mind..
I so feel like sleeping n forget abt everything..
I dunno wad i should do with my life now..
I m confused..

I like suddenly lonely again..
I dun blame my frens..
They got their own commitment..
My luck oso not back yet..
Do everything oso suay lehz..
Hope it will come back soon ba..
I m dying inside le..
I m now like a body without a soul le..

Ok..Enough said..
dunno wad to say le..

2007-10-21T02:34:00.000+08:00

Hmm..just back frm outside..
Today went a few places..
1st..i met gk for maths tuition @ J8 in the afternoon..
Den after tat met up with ken..
To go keppel club for my mums bday celebration..
With her frens
haha..
Actually we go coz there gt 1 pool table..
All for us to play for the whole nite..
Dam song la..
But too bad only 7ft..
Drink some alcohol while i was there..
1 Tequila Sunset n 2 cups of beer..
Quite nice lehz..
Maybe wad some1 said was correct..
When life is bitter den will like to drink bitter stuff..

After all tat all of us went home lor..
Den it was like 1am..
So ken stayed over at hse..
n ya..he is with me right now..
haha..

Yeah..horoscope wasnt jun again for today..
Was expecting something different..
But i guess luck isnt at my side ba..
All celebrating here n there..
Feel happy for all of them..
Coz all my frens ma..
wahaha.
Still got alot things in my head..
Hab to get rid of it by mon..
If not this time exam sure buang again 1..

Ok ba..post till for now lor..
Time to play games!!

2007-10-20T00:42:00.001+08:00

hmm..blogging again..

Hmm..today went to play pool n billiard with ken, hanisah n gab..
Jialat la my pool..
Lose him 2 match..
Waahah..
I wan blame it on coz i nv warm up..
But nvm..
Good players r always rdy de..
No need warm up..
Will practice more de..
Going to beat all my frens..
Wahahaha..
Nvm i beat 2 of them in billiard..
wahaha

After tat..went to eat ljs at macdonald hse(but there is no mac there)
Den went to heeren walk walk..
Den saw this nice Nike AF1..
1 dat catch my eyes..
Hmm..its was like $119 nia..
quite cheap ba..
But at the back bo the TICK(new AF1 no tick le at the back)
So we went to look for got TICK de..
So we decided go to far east see more shoes..
Go to there..all the design oso bo catch my eyes..
Den the worst thing is there isnt tat design there..
Den we rmb tat Taka got 1 nice design i said i wanted awhile ago..
Coz its green..just y i wan buy..
But..At the end..
Realise OSO BO TICK..WTH..
Den so ex $148..
Den the design soso nia..
Den nvm lor..we went back Heeren de..
DEN THEY TELL ME NO MORE SIZE..
Nowonder so cheap la..
Den wanted buy other design..
The nxt cheapest range was like $169 at the store..
The design all soso nia..
So din buy frm tat store lor..
Den we rmb that at heeren oso got nike shop..
Selling tat shoe..
Den went there..
Guess WAD..
OSO LAST PIECE..
but heng is my size..
wahaha..
Abit more ex..
$129..
Coz from $180 - 30% de..
So like my freaking shoes now..
Damn swee..

After tat..we went to lucky plaza aka maid's paradise to eat mac..
Go out with ken..
Cfm eat till fat 1..
Always hungry de him..
Eat liao den we went home by mrt frm there ba..
Tats all for today ba..

Hmm..Was actually kinda moody in the early part of the day..
Coz of multiple probs floating in my head..
I keep thinking i really like dam dumb n dint take the chance ba..
Or maybe i was just dreaming there was 1..

Oh ya..
If u r reading this..
Sry i din pei u go for lessons today..
U noe who u r ba..
I din go coz of some reasons ba..
some reason tat shouldnt be said..

Tats all for today..Tata guys..

2007-10-18T16:25:00.001+08:00

hmm..just back frm pract..
Kns posted to Tanglin Sec..
West coast road..
Took me 1hr+ to get there..
Den dunno who tell me need protractor n 30cm ruler all those..
Den i go buy in the morning..
At the end..
THEY PROVIDE..
WTF LOR..
Damn dulan lehz..
Nvm..At least got confident tat will do well..
Even though i nv finish my chem part..
Coz the physic part so tedious..
But should be able to get all correct for physic part ba..
So is it Zinc(II)Carbonate or Calcium(II)Carbonate..
I dunno la..
Coz i no time finish the last test..
So i is guess de..
I think is Zinc(II)Carbonate..
Who think confident correct de..
Can leave the ans in my tag box..

Hmm..after tat went home liao..
Took the stupid bus 147 from clementi to serangoon..
Sit till i seh liao..
Okok la..
Quite a bored day..
No where to go after tat..

Glad tat u r happy now ba..
Even though i said alot time le..
But i really feel happy seeing u happy..
Even though i m lonely..
But its ok..

Hmm..for now all my hopes r gone..
Lost everything liao..
Time after time..
I use wrong method to chase a gal..
Wad a failure hor..
Got chance dun take..
Nvm la..
No hope for now le..

Waahhah..Finish downloading bleach le..
Finished in 8mins..
Wow..haha..

Ok ba..post till here today ba..

ANYBODY WAN CHALLENGE POOL CALL MY HP

2007-10-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

hmm..just kinda woke up..
Dunno y cant wake up in the morning..
Felt so tired n lifeless the whole day..
WAhahaha tmr science pract..
This yr special..
my chem got confidence but physic bo..
Coz today nv go for the lab practice..
Kinda going out to meet frens now..
But nvm..I say finish i go out..

Hmm..I noe things was hard for u..
U din like somethings i do but i still did it..
I already apologise since tat day le..
Thats all i can do for now..
But if u think i like u coz of tat only..
Den u r wrong ba..
It was nv intended to be..
U should noe me well ba..
I already tried to change at the last part le..
But it was too late le..
Or maybe there wasnt a time at all..

I oso dunno wad to say le..
It looks like u still haben forgive me ba..
But nvm..I dun expect u to forgive me..
I will just hope u will ba..
All the time we were together..
I was true to u ba..
Believe it or not..
Its up to u..

I noe u r not tat time easy to forgive n forget de..
But at least for ur frens..
They already apologise for encouraging u with me le..
Hope u say wad u mean ba..
Wads past is past le..

For me now..
Will believe in this in rs..
改得了一时, 改不了一世
Wad matters is to love the person for who he/she is..
Even though how much changes the person does..
He/she is eventually still the original person..

2007-10-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

hmm..bored bored bored..
tats wad i can say..

First of all..
Today went to sch.. for Chem pract..
end up become dry lab..
So sian..
Den some stupid person wan stay for english..
Almost cant keep awake sia..
After 3 hrs of Chem le still need go boring english..
But quite ok la..
Little ppl..
So can talk alot..
After tat went to it with tat stupid person..
Still say noe de place..
Walk 1 round before finding the stupid food centre..
Den ate le went walk walk around the area..
Den i went home..
Heng i bo chinese..
If not i sure die there le..
Bored to death..

Slp all the way on the bus..
So song around 1 hr liddat..
Tat got this fking fat women sit beside me..
Kns dam fking squeezy la
Heng she just sit i go down bus le..
Den reach my hse the bus stop..
Super heavy rain..
So jun la..
I bo bring umbrella den rain..
Got bring den mai rain..
Wth lor..
After rain smaller den i went home..
1st thing lie on bed n slp le..
Haha..
Tats like kinda my day ba..

Hmm..now to get into matters..
I feel dam guilty to coz they 3 person the frenship to be come like this..
I just hope i just din appear in the 1st place..
They are really innocent de..
They oso din expected tat helping us will push u to a corner..
I just hope u understand ba..
Its ur frens for so many yrs now..
U should noe them better ba..

Hmm..maybe they tot we would turn out like ken n hanisah liddat..
9 mths le.. still happy..
although they started frm total strangers..
U should rmb who get them together ba..
But things din turn out tat way for us ba..
But it doesnt matter now ba..
As long as u r happy..
They r happy too ba..

For now..I m just gonna lead my normal life again ba..
AND THE WORST THINGS IS..
HOW COME ALL MY FRENS ALL ATTACHED OR GOING TO BE ATTACH 1..
ARGHHH..SO UNFAIR..
JK..
U already had my fair share..
Those tat r attached..All the best u guys..
Those who r getting attach..folo ur heart ba..
Wad u see is just wad is physical..
Wad matter most is the inside..

From:PHD Kevin(But fail in own rs=x)..

2007-10-16T08:54:00.001+08:00

hmm..played game the whole nite..
coz couldnt sleep..
but now gotta go to sch for science pract coz O's pract is coming le..
hmm..
nth much to say ba..
left speechless le..
just read her blog..
since she made things clear..
i will too..

To Mich:
1stly..ur frens dint meant to set u up..
I already said many times..
I seek for their help..
Coz i noe u wun meet me..
Hope u understand..

I noe frm start u din like me..
I just wanted try to it out..
To see if u would develop feelings..
Instead u develop more hatred towards me..
Maybe u r right ba..nth i did touched ur heart..
All of it just too common ba..
N there isnt fate..
I just gotta accept the fact tat all these while its always been a 1 sided love ba..
Even so..
Thx for acting with me..
Giving me so much happiness during the times we r together..
It may be the worst times in ur life..
But being with u was the best in mine ba..
Sry for everything especially ur time..tats the only thing i can do now..
I already said to u le..
I wun do anything stupid..
U should i noe i mean wad i say ba..
If not..It means i wun try to chase u back..
Tats all..
Seriously..all these while..all i wan is for u to be happy..
Tried to hang on to it..coz i think i could improve things..
By trying to change myself..
But eventually..I m stil I..
So i learnt my lesson ba..

Since u find a guy u really like..
Stay happy with him forever ba..
I oso feel happy for u..
No point having u but not ur heart ba..
Wish u guys all da best..
N if u guys still wan me this fren..
I m always willing to

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For now..i will just concentrate on my coming O's ba..
Hopefully..I find the 1 tat is fated for me 1 day ba..
Okie..tats all for this post..
Gonna get rdy for sch le..

2007-10-15T03:36:00.000+08:00

hmm..just back frm outside..
Den cant slp..haiz..
Went out drink with fren..
Den talk abt stuff..
After tat went home liao..
Nth much..
Thx for accompanying me drink..

I very useless hor..
Want to 1 mth le..
I still brooding over the same thing..
Haiz..
Is it really true tat love really require fate only?
Even though u gave it all ur heart it still wun work out?
I really dun noe..
Really confused..

Nobody noes how i m feeling rite now..
Everyone else time is passing fast as they r in fantasy..
While mine is crawling slowly..
I really nth to look forward to sia..
Looking at those small kids on the road..
I hope i could be just like them..
Nth to stressed abt..
So carefree..

I can say i m jealous of everyone else enjoying life now..
But i had my fair share of it last time..
It was really great..
Best time in my life..
When times r great..
People just dun realise how lucky they r..
Wait till its all gone..
Den they think back..
But its just too late..

Tmr i think i should start studying le..
Even though i noe i cannot make it in time le..
But i try ba..

2007-10-13T15:48:00.000+08:00

To aiai..
*I CANNOT EMO*

Hahaa..
Decided on sth yst..
I think only 1 person noes it..
Yeah tat is my sis E..wahaha
It seems impossible la..
But i decided to gib it a try lor..
Who noes right?
Nth is impossible rite..

Hmm..aiai say cannot be emo..
Wad should i write ar..
*thinking thinking*
OHOH..
Later going playing pool..
Should be fun ba..
Long time no challenge le..
Later going play with a pro player sia..
Abit excited..
Not really scared..
50% chance of winning..
*either lose or win nia ma..just y 50/50*
ok la..this topic not nice to talk..
*changing topic*

Wad i hab been doing the last few days..
Actually..just slacking la..
Nth much oso..
Everyone else seems like having their fantasy period of their life now..
While i m just opposite..
Life is fair ba..
Got ups n downs..
Tat time i having mine..
The rest like not having..
Tats y la..
Nvm la..1 day i will hab mine again..
All i got to do now is hope lor..
Hope tat it would work out lor..
My hopes..

Ok la..
Post till here for now..
MY lunch is back..
*runs off to lunch*

2007-10-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

Today was a boring day..
If u were wondering wad i did today..
All i can tell u is..
Slp,Eat n slack...
Haiz..exams so near..
Yet i still cant get myself to study..
Y is it liddaT?
Is it becoz all my hopes n dreams r gone?
Nth to aim forward to really..
I noe studies n all is all for my own good only..
But the truth is..I m a hopes n dreams motivated person..
If u noe me well u should noe ba..

Dunno y the wound feels more pain this week..
If feels as though i m strength less the whole week..
I tot i had already survive thru the hardest..
But i think the pain has just begin..
To stop n think..
My life is almost perfect..
I had almost everything ppl dream to hab..
But it still feels incomplete..

Maybe last time when it was incomplete..
Tat was the time it was the most complete..
Been thinking this week..
Alot of things can be avoided..
There was a save for her n me..
But when i was with her..
I was blinded ba..
Went thru some old vids n pics..
Flashback was really nonstop..
I oso realise i was really lucky last time..
I was like a ugly duckling tat wants to be with a swan..
Y must ppl always realise things after they hab lost it?
Would there be a second chance for ppl that feels remorseful?

1st time in my life i m really feeling emo..
Always wanted to feel how was it like..
Now i understand le..
The feeling of having a painful heart throughout the day..
Is really bad..
I really hab alot of things to tell her..
But cant find the chance to..
Haiz..

Aiya..wads the point of brooding over all these..
For now..all i can do is to believe in this phrase..
"Wad meant to be mine will be mine"
I will will believe tat till my last breath of life ba..
Even though thinking back nxt time..
I may think i m kinda dumb..
But the times we hab been together..
Will nv be forgotten..
Although it wasnt very long..
But to think of it..
We hab been thru so many thing tat some ppl wun even go thru their whole time together..

Ok ba..let me emo till here for now..
If any1 bother to read..
Thx for reading..

2007-10-09T23:47:00.000+08:00

hmM..feeling down now..
i dunno y too..
Wad should i do?
Im very stressed up..
Although i may not seem so frm the outside..
But frm the inside my head really wan to explode le..
Whole day i hab been pondering over her..
Was i really tat bad tat i dint deserve her love?
Even though the past cant be reverse..
I kinda regretted all the steps i moved wrong..
I really cant feel my soul nowadays..
Like abit lifeless liddat..
Sometimes do stupid stuff i oso dunno wad i m doing..

Wad should i do?
My heart still beats for her..

2007-10-08T09:56:00.000+08:00

Just back frm edmund hse..
Went out with Ken, Daniel, Eugene, Riovee, Duane, Gabriel n Edmund yst..
Its was kinda like Riovee's Bday celebration..
Kinda fun..
As usual..i was late..so met them while they were playing pool at amk..
Played awhile too..as usual..
This week record sia..7 days pool non stop..wan POK le..
After tat pool met up with those tat nv go play pool..
Den went to Botak Jones at somewhere at braddell..
Soso only la..nth special..
Celebrated most of Riovee's Bday there..
Den went to Edmund hse after tat..
Duane n Gab went home after awhile..Den de rest ton..
They play mahjong..Den i play com n psp..
Den after tat all sat down n talk abt stuff ba..
Quite fun la..they r quite a frendly group..

Now at home le..n need go sch for remedial at 1.30pm..siao liao la..
Dunno can even wake up anot sia..sian..
Really wan to study..
Hopefully i can get my mind to focus ba..
Wad they say is true..
I should look forward instead of backwards..
But even my body already moving forward..
My heart is still back there..

To her:
glad that u r happy now..hope u 2 all the best..n study hard for ur exam..
*i m jealous of u guys* hope u still treat me as a fren ba..i m sry for all i had done wrong in the past..hope u forgive me ba..

2007-10-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

HmM.. havent post for so many days..
Been doing lots n lots of thinking this few days..
Althought frm outside wounds looks as if it is healing..
But frm deep within..
I think wounds r getting deeper only..
Every single day..
I try to distract myself frm thinking abt her..
But end up its just a temporary thing to do..
Haiz..

Last few days..i went out with ken..
It was fun..but still cant it off my mind..
Tried almost everything le..
2 weeks has passed..
truthfully i m still missing her..
Every single day i have flashback of our past..
To think of it..
Many be there were alot of things i could hab done to made it better..
But its too late now..
But.. i really got 1 big qn in mind..
Hope she could ans me..
Was i a very bad bf?

I think she is happy with him now..
which is a very gd thing..
no matter how bad u hate me..
i still hope u all the best..
n sry for the things i did wrong..
hope u would forgive me..
1 last thing..
i meant all the things i said to u..

For now..
Exams is coming..
To be honest..
I hab no confident at all..
But i dun wan to fail again..
Haiz..
Dunno wad to do..
Cant get my mind to study..
Too much things inside..
Going to explode liao..

Ok ba.. post till here..

i wan thx all those tat r by my side while i m down..i really appreciate it..

2007-09-29T17:08:00.000+08:00

More den a week has pass now..
She is now happy with him le..
Tats a gd thing..
It seems tat i hab been a very bad person last time..
I think i noe y le..
Really sry for everything last time..
Really dint meant it..
I think its really time to let u go le ba..
See u enjoying with him..
I oso happy for u..
U tot me alot of stuff..
Alot of stuff tat would help me in my life..
Appreciate all tat..
Thx for everything..

Ok la..
Lets start saying wad i hab been doing these past few days..

Thurs..Went to sch as per normal..Den went back home..It was a rainy day..dunno y was so tired oso..reach home lie on bed n fell asleep..when i was just abt to turn into deep slp..she called.. ask me wan go out ma..den i agreed n went out with her..we ended up at vivo..watching movie..watch Death at the funeral..sibei funny..luff non stop..den after movie..we went to bk eat..but i was de only 1 eating..F5..she play my psp while waiting for me to eat finish..haha..my psp too attractive le..ppl keep wan play..haha..den pei her take bus home..dam shiok la my ass..super far only..but quite fun.. nv been there so late at nite before..den of course i took almost de last bus back frm there..another shiok ride..sit till my ass song again..reach serangoon inter n walk back frm there..coz no bus le..was quite a fun day..let me get my tots off her..

Friday..suppose to go out at 11+ den ended up leaving de hse at 2..waiting for some pig to wake up to go out study..haha..suppose to go jurong study oso..den last min tat pig say jurong very sian..den cant think of other place..so went to vivo again lor..ate at pasta mania..soso nia la..she did well..manage to finish the pizza ALL BY HERSELF..lol..den went to mac @ hfc to study..study till ard 7 liddat..den decided to go ps eat..ate de dunno wad riverside bbq or wad at de foodcourt..quite nice..but like super filling oso..ken join us for dinner..actually is wanted wait him come den eat..at de end we forgotten to wait..=x sry ken.. after dinner..we 2 send her back..at de end..ended up in jurong east to play pool..wth..so late liao..haha..sudden craving pool..after tat send her home den me n ken take cab to my hse..1st time cross country..but not tat ex la..ken stayed over at my hse..we talked abt stuff..n play games..all those..haha..tats abt all for Friday..had a nice day..

Today stuff other time den say..now running late le..wan go out eat dinner with ken..wahahaha..

2007-09-26T06:30:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Still cant slp again..haiz...

I really still miss her..
No matter how much i try to hide it or wadeva..
I still cant seems to forget her...
The times with her..
Was really just like a dream come true..
Wish i had more time with her..Haiz..
I noe tat it aint quite possible..
But i really want her back by my side again..
I really want to hold her in my arms again..

Infront of my frens..
I try to show them i m done with it..
N already letting go..
But deep inside..
I really cant let go..
She is just like a part of me already..
Without her..
Its like a jigsaw puzzle with many holes..
Haiz..
If i had only 1 wish in the world..
I would wish she would come back to me..
I dun care wad she had done to me..
How she had hurt me..
I just wan a new beginning..

While waiting for the dream to come true..
I think i can just stand at a side..
N just wish her all the best..
Even thou the dream may not come true..
Even after i died..
I would still wish it will come true..

ok..enough of this..
My head is so heavy..
I dunno wad to do..
All i can do is just wait..
N hope for miricle

Still cant get u off my mind..

2007-09-24T03:12:00.000+08:00

Haiz..Still aint got no mood..

U must be enjoying life now..
Tats good..
As long as u r happy..
I m happy for u too...
Even now i cant hold u in my arms anymore..

So many days past le..
But i still cant stop thinking of our time together..
Hmm..
But i guess..
I would believe tat if we were meant together..
Eventually we will be together de ba...

Tmr meeting her le..
To take back my stuff..
Feeling sad n happy..
Happy coz can see her..
Sad coz it maybe a long time before de nxt time i can see her liao...
Haiz..
How i wish i could reverse time..

The lyrics of a song i heard today..
Most of the things i wan to say to her seems to be inside..

NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE
By: S Club 7

Everybody’s got something, they had to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time,
There’s no use looking back, or wondering, (or wondering),
How it could be now, or might have been, (or might have been),
All this I know, but still I can’t find ways to let you go,

I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you.

Somewhere in my memory I’ve lost all sense of time,
And tomorrow can never be cause yesterday is all that fills my mind,
There’s no use looking back, or wondering (or wondering),
How it should be now, or might have been (or might have been),
Oh this I know but still I can’t find ways to let you go,

I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You’ll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will oh baby,
You’ll always be the one I know I’ll never forget,
There’s no use looking back or wondering, (or wondering),
Because love is a strange and funny thing, (and funny thing),
No matter how I try and try I just can’t say goodbye, no no no no.

I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say, (never found the words to say),
You’re the one I think about each day, (you’re the one I think about each day),
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be...
A part of me will always be with you, oooohhh.

I've Lost Everything...

2007-09-22T07:01:00.000+08:00

Haiz..still cant slp..no mood to do anything...

Really dint expected this to come my way..

but..wad can i do now?

I myself oso dunno..

I really cant stop thinking every moment we spend together..

All the happy stuff we did together..

Makes me shed tears for her again..

1 is the 1 love..

The other is a good fren which i trust..

Really impact me lots la..

All i can say i already wrote in the card i gave her..

Yst was like the worst day of my life..

imagine some 1 u treasure so much.. suddenly isn't in your grasp anymore..

tats the feeling i feel now..

nth can make me more happy den her..

but it seems impossible now..

she is with another guy now..

i trust he would take care of her well..

i m happy for her..

thou i still cant accept the fact..

will she be mine again??

i hope so..

let fate decide ba..

back to loneliness once again...

good things dun last i guess..

I WILL FOREVER CHERISH ALL THE TIMES WE HAD BEEN TOGETHER..

Thx all tat been beside me all this while...
Without u all..i dunno wad would hab happen..

The Worst day of my life...

2007-09-20T18:16:00.000+08:00

Today..just 1 day before our 1 yr anniversary..she ask for a break up..

The whole day before tat i was already in a bad stat.. got some stuff i m unsure abt..but i hope tmr would be a better day..

Really looking forward to tmr for a long time now..dint expect we will just missed it by 1 day..

I really dun wan to lose her..she means alot to me..

but i really dunno wad to do..

wad went wrong?

how did she just lose feelings like dat?

i really hope i could noe all those answer...

most importantly...

I DUN WAN TO LOSE HER...

haiz...is there another way out?

can we just dun break...

hope u reconsider ba..

u r everything to me..

A bad day

2007-09-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm..3 time posting from hp..haha..

Wad to say leh..

Yst..we went to pay respect to a maple fren's mum as she just pass away..we went there around 12am n stayed till around 4am..due to playing blackjack..although it was about coz we were losing a huge sum of meso(maplerstory currency), but there is another reason to it..which i wun say out..
This cause dar to get scolding for staying up too late..Sry dar..maybe it also helped u too..

Today..wasn't a nice day at all..during the early part of the day..we had some small arguement..actually all i wanted is her to hab more slp..n i play her char so tat she wun waste her 2x while she was slping..she was unhappy with it..i dunno y too..anyway..tats de past by now.,

Wad happened at night was worst..firstly her mum scold her for playing too much com..den after tat we went for dinner..after dinner..her dad talked to her..which ended up both parents scolding her..sometime they dun really know wad we teenagers are thinking..but they tot they do..they said alot of unpleasant stuff..dun wan to mention wad..but i can say most of it doesn't help at all..she is just a teenager of course will be a bit immature..and the way u ask for her prob isn't correct..its more like police interviewing a thief liddat..anyway..i heard most of the conversation..i was included too..it was my fault for not keeping the room tidy..sry about tat dar..they also said tat i din't encourage her at all..haiz..i did tried..but nobody noe..they used me as a topic to scold her which makes me feel bad..but some things really no where to put..just y we leave it on the floor at 1 side..haiz..its over..i know she is very unhappy..i m too..but she seem ok from the outside now..playing maple..really hope she could spend more time with me..although we r always together..but we hardly communicate..

really hoped 1 day she would come to me when she is upset..rather den other..

Confused..

2007-09-12T22:21:00.000+08:00

Hmm..gonna make this short..

i dunno wads going on..nowadays its hard to communicate with her..i really wan to talk to her like last time..even though i see her everyday..its seems tat i m very far away from her heart..

i always wonder..y she dun share prob with me?was i unwilling to listen?or wad have happened tat pull us apart so far?

dunno whether to say this anot..i can feel something wierd happening..but i cant do anything about it..how? Can some 1 help me pls? Or wad should i do..i m losing her heart..can see tat she is confuse now..there is 2 path in heart now..1 is with me..another is with him..i also confused..i dunno m i too selfish?should i just let her go to be happy?although she means so much to me till i m unwilling to let go..but if she really wants to go..i can do nth but to let her go..haiz..i really love her..but it needs 2 hand to clap..if ur heart dun hab me anymore..just tell me..i will wish u all da best..

u r rite..there is no point changing..how i change i m still me..but do u still wan de original me?haha..u choose ba..

2007-09-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

finally i m posting again.

1st of all... HX I M UPDATE BLOG LE..lol

hmm..wad should i post..i feel tat my life is messed up..how can i fix the pieces back together..i felt very bad tat i brought they 2 back home..they are innocent n shouldnt get pulled in..haiz..wad to do..if i could just erase it from their mind or bring time i would do it..

Right now..my head still hurts since yst..i myself also dunno y..it may seems from the outside that everything is gone n passed..but deep inside i just cant stop thinking of wad happened yst..its like a nightmare tat u rmb deeply..this 2 days i keep having a very stressed up mind..y is this so? i really wonder..is it bcoz O's is getting near? or is it bcoz of other stuff? i really dont noe..really hope i could just go to slp n slp n slp..but tat doesnt solve anything..if u noe me well..i m a person tat dont like to leave things unsolved..

Hmm..i really lost my mind yst..but i din meant wad i said when i was angry..but ppl just think tat i did..even my own parents dont noe me well..wad can i say? ppl said i nv tried to communicate with them..but i m a born introvert..i cant communicate with ppl easily..i really hope i can..did i not tried hard enuff to get closer to them? maybe last 17 yrs i really did..but no 1 saw it..i really dont noe wad to do?i do love them, but i dont noe how to..i really cant see the future..stressed up the whole day..haiz..

i read her blog..i saw the post..i noe he is wrong..can i say sry on his behalf? maybe bcoz i noe him too well tat i noe he has too much pride to say it..wad to do..tats how he is like..i felt angry n sad the whole 2 days..i noe i shouldnt do the stuff..but i really cant control myself..

Actually..i realise yst tat my mum isnt tat bad after all..time after time she sided me..n time after time i treated her badly..although she may be naggy or even very irritating at times.. she still meant gd after all..after so many times i treated her badly..i really wanted to apologise to her..but just cant say it out of my mouth..

i feel very lost rite now..i feel tat i owe every single 1 around me a apologise..to her..i wan to tell her tat i m really stressed up tat i wan drown myself with things..just y i would forget the time just now..i m really sry..hope u forgive me..i really owe u alot..too much tat i dont noe how to return u..

tats all for today..this post would sound very personal..but the fact is..it is..every post here is personal..hope tmr will be a better day..

I don't know what to do

2007-08-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

Hmm..once again i m blogging again..
Its been quite long since i last blog..
This time kinda unique..coz i m posting from my hp..rofl right.
.
Now i m kinda confuse while posting.,coz she told me not to get addicted to games..but i feel she may get..although she said she just play for fun..i don't why i feel this way..maybe i m wrong..i know i been playing too much this week too..dota has been in my mind all this week..but deep inside i m still telling myself to not lose control..i wan to play only when i have the free time.. But it seems to her i m getting addicted..all i want is a balance in between studies and enjoyment..studying isn't that hard after all..when there is someone there studying with u..i just want to tell her even though i may get impatient during studies..i really didn't meant it..its maybe due to i being oversensitive to people reactions and mistook what they really meant..really hope to study more as o's is coming

I can see she has alot of problems inside her..but she ain't saying out..i really wanna help..but i seem useless..she said that i will not understand how she feels..even if i do not..i will try my best to help..and trying to put the smile back on her face..i guess she is mostly troubled over THAT thing..i guess from what she from me i m just an outsider and do not understand anything..maybe i do..i do feel the problem too..just showing out of me i don't so it wun make her worry..i m actually also worrying for them..but i just cant think what to do..all i hope is that they will just forget it and move on..just hoping they will each move back 1 step..i can see that the 1 most affected by all this is her..thats y i feel so useless that i cant do anything.. All i wish i could take all this problem off her head and into mind..

just her dad called and i can see her sorrows deepening.. I just want tell her that i will ALWAYS be here for her no matter what happens..and even though i may be short temper..it goes off as fast as it comes..and is not i dun let her play game..its just i dun want her to overdo it..although i know she is playing to distract her sorrows.,

i think i will stop here for now.,
sorry for being to monotone..
Hope everything will be fine again..

2007-08-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

Today.........................................

IS my 1st time posting on a REAL post on this BLOG!!

hMm... how to start sia...

ok lets start de posting..

Firstly,

*2 finger spacing* Today is Friday. lol. who doesn't know that. Something people don't know is what i did today. hmmm. i woke up like mid day and skip school cause it was like quite late already. She(u know who) also didn't attend school today<-(as usual for Friday). So we decided to go have lunch at Yuki Yaki(maybe spell wrongly) but unfortunately it was like 4pm++ and by the time we reach there we have to pay the adult price instead of the normal student price. So, we decided to go to cafe cartel(Raffles City) to eat as they have 30% off till 5.30pm. And so we did.
*Leave A line*

*2 finger spacing again*At cafe cartel, she ordered Hawaiian pork chop n i ordered St.Louis Pork rib both with the complete meal. After eating we went to Esplanade library to study( can believe i also will study de right, here the evidence)

After studying, we went to marina square to eat Anderson Ice cream n we ate the couple fondue. Kinda nice but little sweet ba. After that we when home by bus which was a long journey. hmm, thats all for today ba.

*The End*

2007-07-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

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